A New York divorce lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates.

St. Peter asks, "What have you done to merit entrance into heaven?"

The lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street."

St. Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the recorder book, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true.

St. Peter said, "Well, that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get into heaven."

The lawyer said, "Wait, wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter."

St. Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.

St. Peter whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?"

Gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to St. Peter, "Let's give him back his fifty cents and tell him TO GO TO HELL."


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