Frank Shuster of the comedy team Wayne and Shuster died this year (2002). One of the pair's best-known skits was

Rinse The Blood Off My Toga

based on William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar
Here is an edited excerpt:


Brutus: Flavius, this is where it happened. This is where Big Julie got murdered.

Flavius: Yeah, well, where is the corpus delecti?

Brutus: The what?

Flavius: The corpus delecti, corpus delecti. Whassa matter, don't you understand plain Latin when you hear it?

Brutus: Oh, the stiff!

Flavius: Yeah, yeah.

Brutus: He's lying right over there.

Flavius: Would you look at that. Eight daggers in him.

Brutus: Yeah, what do you think?

Flavius: I think that if he were alive today, he'd be a pretty sick boy. He's really fixed for blades, eh?

Brutus: Oh, come on, Flavius, yougotta solve this cnme.

Flavius: All right, all right. Who are those men over there?

Brutus: They were all here when it happened. That's Publius, Casca, and there's Trebonius.

Flavius: Who's that guy over there with the lean and hungry look on his kisser?

Brutus: That's Cassius.

Flavius: Yeah? Re looks like a loser from the Colosseum. Who do you think is the likeliest suspect?

Brutus: That fella next to him.

Flavius: Wait a minute that's you!

Brutus: I know, but how do you know I can be trusted?

Flavius: (aside) I could see that I was dealing with no ordinary case. This was a mental case. (to Brutus) Wait a minute, who's the dame?'

Brutus: That's Calpurnia, Caesar's wife.

Flavius: Yeah, well she's a suspect too. Wait a minute. Pardon,me, Mrs. Caesar.

Calpurnia: Yes?

Flavius: Flavius Maximus, private Roman eye. I'd like to ask you a few questions. What do you know about this?

Calpurnia: I told him, "Julie, don't go. Don't go, Julie," I said. "Don't go, it's the Ides of March-"

Flavius: Now look, Mrs. Caesar, I'd-

Calpurnia: If I told him once, I'd told him a thousand times, "Julie, don't go-"

Flavius: Please, don't upset yourself.

Calpurnia: "Julie, don't go," I said. "It's the Ides of March. Beware already."

Flavius: Centurion, would you take Mrs. Caesar home, please?

Tiberius: Come along, ma'am. Come'along.

Calpurnia: (fading away) I told him, "Julie, don't go. don't-"

Flavius: (aside) I don't blame him for going.

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