To The Editor:

A good son-in-law is a blessing and I have a good son- in-law. The other day he asked me, "Why don't you church-goers have a `no excuse' Sunday once a year when everyone who claims a connection to a church has to go for no excuse will be accepted". (He is not a church- goer but I am hoping he and the rest of his family will be one day.)

My son-in-law provided a list of suggestions which would make it possible for everyone to attend church:

  1. COTS will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in."

  2. MURINE will be availiable for those with tired eyes from watching television too late on Saturday night.

  3. We will have STEEL HELMETS for those who say, "The roof would cave in if I ever came to church".

  4. BLANKETS will be furnished for those who say, "The church is too cold, and FANS for those who think the church is too hot."

  5. We will have HEARING AIDS for those who say, "The pastor speaks too softly", and COTTON for those who say, "He preaches too loudly".

  6. SCORE CARDS will be in availiable for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.

  7. Some RELATIVES will be in attendance for those who like to go visiting on Sundays.

  8. There will be 1OO TV DINNERS for those who can't go to church and cook dinner at the same time.

  9. One section will be devoted to TREES AND GRASS for those who like to seek God in nature.

  10. Finally, the Sanctuary will be decorated with both CHRISTMAS POINSETTIAS AND EASTER LILIES for those who have never seen the church without them.

With these arrangements we hope there would be no excuse for anyone not attending church.

See you in church,

John Olson.

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