To The Editor:
A good son-in-law is a blessing and I have a good son- in-law. The other day he asked me, "Why don't you church-goers have a `no excuse' Sunday once a year when everyone who claims a connection to a church has to go for no excuse will be accepted". (He is not a church- goer but I am hoping he and the rest of his family will be one day.)
My son-in-law provided a list of suggestions which would make it possible for everyone to attend church:
With these arrangements we hope there would be no excuse for anyone not attending church.
- COTS will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in."
- MURINE will be availiable for those with tired eyes from watching television too late on Saturday night.
- We will have STEEL HELMETS for those who say, "The roof would cave in if I ever came to church".
- BLANKETS will be furnished for those who say, "The church is too cold, and FANS for those who think the church is too hot."
- We will have HEARING AIDS for those who say, "The pastor speaks too softly", and COTTON for those who say, "He preaches too loudly".
- SCORE CARDS will be in availiable for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.
- Some RELATIVES will be in attendance for those who like to go visiting on Sundays.
- There will be 1OO TV DINNERS for those who can't go to church and cook dinner at the same time.
- One section will be devoted to TREES AND GRASS for those who like to seek God in nature.
- Finally, the Sanctuary will be decorated with both CHRISTMAS POINSETTIAS AND EASTER LILIES for those who have never seen the church without them.
See you in church,
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