ST. PETERS, Mo.:
An armed robber who took less than $100 from a 7-11 store gave it back to the stunned clerks because his getaway car wouldn't start. The unidentified suspect claimed the holdup was just a joke. The two clerks agreed to give his vehicle a jump start, not to write down his license plate number and wait about 40 minutes before calling the police. The suspect was arrested one hour later.


HONG KONG:
A 33-year-old janitor was arrested for stealing policewomen's underwear while working at the Kwai Chung police station in Hong Kong. The man, who was wearing women's underwear at the time of his arrest, pleaded guilty to theft charges.


VIRGINIA BEACH:
A bank robber stripped to his underwear and left his jeans behind after a dye pack exploded inside the front of his pants. After demanding cash from one of the bank tellers, the suspect stuffed the bag inside his pants and left the Life Savings Bank building. "(People saw) an explosion taking place inside his pants," Police Spokesman Mike Carey said. "He was seen hopping and jumping around." The suspect was able to escape. "He's probably sitting around with an ice pack in his lap, if he hasn't sought medical attention," Carey added.


INDIANAPOLIS:
Two youngsters are probably not old enough to drive but old enough to rob a supermarket. The boys, both under the age of 16, heldup a supermarket in Indianapolis and then attempted to escape by ... taking the bus. The two teen-aged robbers were arrested a few minutes later.


JOHANNESBURG:
An armed robber on the run shot and wounded a zoo gorilla before he was apprehended by police. The suspect, who was being chased by police, jumped over the Johannesburg Zoo fence and ended up inside the gorilla's cage. The 418-pound animal was quick to defend his territory and female partner and rushed towards the terrified robber who fired two shots. (The outcome - Max the gorilla:

shot twice, recovering well. The armed robber:
shot in the hip by police officers, stable condition. The two police officers:
attacked by the raging gorilla, hospitalized in stable condition.)


HOUSTON:
An unidentified man and a woman were under arrest after throwing hot coffee on a flight attendant and trying to force their way inside the pilots' cockpit during a Continental Airlines flight from Houston. "The woman was banging on the cockpit door and yelling she had a gun," a spokesperson said.


SENATOBIA, MISS.:
Edward Faherty, 18, was arrested for riding nude on a stolen motorcycle. "He was apparently out for a little fun on a motorcycle stolen in Memphis, Police Chief Tom Long said. "The thing that we were smiling about at the time was here's this nude guy going 90 mph down the interstate. You know the bugs had to be beating him up." The suspect was freed on $15,000 bond.


CAIRO, EGYPT:
A blind Egyptian man, turned professional car stereo thief, was arrested after a witness saw him driving a vehicle for a few miles and then walking away with the stereo.


SAN FRANCISCO:
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $40, and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police department that contained another picture -- of handcuffs.


KENTUCKY:
Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pick-up truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck.
Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.


SOUTH CAROLINA:
A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.


INDIANA:
A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the loot, he fled--leaving his wallet on the counter.


LONDON, ENGLAND:
A German "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, shows up at customs with his golf bag. While making idle chatter about golf, the customs official realizes that the tourist does not know what a "handicap" is. The customs official asks the tourist to demonstrate his swing, which he does--backward! A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag.


ARIZONA:
A company called "Guns For Hire" stages gunfights for Western movies, etc. One day, they received a call from a 47- year-old woman, who wanted to have her husband killed. She got 4-1/2 years in jail.


TEXAS:
A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9,600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a check--a *forged* check. He got 10 years.


(LOCATION UNKNOWN):
A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head--and realized that he'd forgotten to cut eye-holes in the mask.


(LOCATION UNKNOWN):
A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole--are you ready for this?--the bank's video camera. While it was recording. Remotely. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn't get the videotape of himself stealing the camera.)


(LOCATION UNKNOWN):
A man successfully broke into a bank's basement through a street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He then realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was, (2) he could not climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he was bleeding pretty badly. So he located a phone and dialled "911" for help...


VIRGINIA:
Two men in a pick-up truck went to a new-home site to steal a refrigerator. Banging up walls, floors, etc., they snatched a refrigerator from one of the houses, and loaded it onto the pick-up. The truck promptly got stuck in the mud, so these brain surgeons decided that the refrigerator was too heavy. Banging up *more* walls, floors, etc., they put the refrigerator BACK into the house, and returned to the pick-up truck, only to realize that they locked the keys in the truck--so they abandoned it.


(LOCATION UNKNOWN):
A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled--leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.


WICHITA, KANSAS:
Police arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.


JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA:
A man shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practised shooting beer cans off each other's head.


A COMPANY
trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.


CHICO, CALIFORNIA:
The City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.


ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI:
A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.


OSLO, SWEDEN:
Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle laboured 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.


WAASHINGTON, D.C.:
A convict broke out of jail, then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.


RADNOR, PENNSYLVANIA:
Police interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message, "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.


IONIA, MICHIGAN:
When two service station attendants, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.


LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA:
A man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.


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