• In a New York Restaurant
  Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

• In a LA dance hall
  Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.

• In Florida maternity ward
  No children allowed.

• In the offices of a loan company
  Ask about our plans for owning your home.

• In a toy department
  Five Santa Clauses, no waiting.

• In a Maine shop
  Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.

• On a military base
  restricted to unauthorized personal.

• On a display of `You are my one and only valentine cards
  now available in multi-pack.

• In downtown Boston
  Callahan tunnel / No end.

• In a window of a general store
  Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come right here?

• In a Maine restaurant
  Open 7 days a week and weekends.

• In a New Jersey Restaurant
  Open 11 AM to 11 PM Midnight.

• In a Pennsylvania cemetery
  Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves...

• On the grounds of a private school
  No trespassing without permission.

• In a library
  Blotter paper will no longer be available until the public stops taking it away.

• On a Tennessee Highway
  Take notice, when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.

• On a movie marquee
  Now playing ADAM AND EVE with a cast of thousands...