MATERNITY CLOTHES SHOP:
We are open on labour day.

NON-SMOKING AREA:
If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

ON MATERNITY ROOM DOOR:
"Push, Push, Push".

ON A FRONT DOOR:
Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.

OPTOMETRIST'S OFFICE:
If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

SCIENTIST'S DOOR:
Gone Fission.

TAXIDERMIST WINDOW:
We really know our stuff.

PODIATRIST'S WINDOW:
Time wounds all heels.

BUTCHER'S WINDOW:
Let me meat your needs.

USED CAR LOT:
Second Hand cars in first crash condition.

SIGN ON FENCE:
"Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive".

CAR DEALERSHIP:
The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment.

MUFFLER SHOP:
No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.

HOTEL WINDOW:
"Help!" We need inn - experienced people.

BUTCHER'S WINDOW:
Pleased to meat you.

AUTO BODY SHOP:
May we have the next dents?

SIGN ON AN OFFICE DOOR:
We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.

VETERINARIANS WAITING ROOM:
Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

MUSIC TEACHER'S DOOR:
"Out Chopin".

AT THE ELECTRIC COMPANY:
"We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be".

BEAUTY SHOP:
Dye now!

GARBAGE TRUCK:
We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

COMPUTER STORE DOOR:
"Out for a quick byte".

RESTAURANT WINDOW:
Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.

BOWLING ALLEY:
Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.

CAFETERIA:
Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.

MUSIC LIBRARY:
Bach in a minuet

FUNERAL HOME:
Drive carefully, we'll wait.


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