Sign in a Cafe:
Forks and spoons aren't like medicine--to be taken after meals.


At a Santa Fe gas station:
"We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."


In a New York restaurant:
"Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."


On the wall of a Baltimore Convent:
"Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. --Sisters of Mercy"


On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners:
"38 years on the same spot."


On a Los Angeles dance hall:
"Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."


In a Florida maternity ward:
"No children allowed."


In a New York drugstore:
"We dispense with accuracy."


In the offices of a loan company:
"Ask about our plans for owning your home."


In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"


On a New York convalescent home:
"For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."


On a Maine shop:
"Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship."


At a number of military bases:
"Restricted to unauthorized personnel."


On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards:
"Now available in multi-packs."


In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:
"Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."


In a funeral parlor:
"Ask about our layaway plan."


In a clothing store:
"Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."


In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:
"15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"


On a shopping mall marquee:
"Archery Tournament -- Ears pierced"


Outside a country shop:
"We buy junk and sell antiques."


In the window of an Oregon store:
"Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"


In a Maine restaurant:
"Open 7 days a week and weekends."


On a radiator repair garage:
"Best place to take a leak."


In the vestry of a New England church:
"Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."


In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."


On a roller coaster:
"Watch your head."


On the grounds of a public school:
"No trespassing without permission."


On a Tennessee highway:
"When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."


In front of a New Hampshire car wash:
"If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car."


In an open field, in England, untouched by human presence,
there is a sign that says, "Do not throw stones at this sign."


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