Just before Christmas, a five-year-old old boy asks his mother, "Mom will I get anything from Santa this year?"

Mom says, "No. You have been a really bad boy. But maybe if you write a letter promising to be a good boy next year he might give you a present."

The kid thinks about it a long time, then decides to write to Jesus instead of Santa, figuring that Jesus will make Santa bring him a present. So he writes:

Dear Jesus, I promise to be a good boy for the next year.

After thinking about that, he decides that it's too big a promise, so he writes again:

Dear Jesus, I promise to be a good boy for the next month.

This continues until the kid decides that he can't be good even for one day, and throws away all the letters. He hits on a different plan.

The next day he goes to church and steals an icon of the Virgin Mary, brings it home, and starts writing another letter:

Dear Jesus,

If you ever want to see your mother again....