1.  How about the man who ran through a screen door? He strained himself.

  2.  A male snake charmer married a female undertaker. Their bath towels read
    "Hiss" and "Hearse".

  3.  Hands are like bells, especially when they're wrung.

  4.  Rust is edible. After all, it is a form of car-rot.

  5.  One can tell that a tree is nomadic when it packs up its trunk and leaves.

  6.  Concerning Chinese tobacco: Many men smoke, but Fu Manchu.

  7.  Confucious say man standing on toilet is high on pot.

  8.  Some people say my puns are sleep-inducing, but I keep laudanum anyways.

  9.  One day the wind stopped blowing in Chicago and everyone fell down.

  10.  When the Lord said, "Go forth, be fruitful and multiply!" He didn't necessarily have Math teachers in mind.

  11.  One who does magic tricks with bandages is a wizard of gauze.

  12.  The truth may ring out like a bell, but it is seldom ever tolled.

  13.  The Irish government is wealthy because its capital is always Dublin.

  14.  We ought to rename summer "pride" because pride cometh before the fall.

  15.  If life is like a bowl of cherries, what's the raisin for living?

  16.  Plug a pizza in the socket and get a pizza delight.

  17.  The sheep rustler who broke out of jail is now on the lam.

  18.  The Hand family consists of 10 electricians. Their motto is "Many Hands make light work."

  19.  Spanish bullfighters use Oil of Ol face cream to beat wrinkles.

  20.  Read the history of electronics of Biblical proportions: Solomon and Toshiba!

  21.  "Doctor, doctor! Some days I think I'm a teepee, others I think I'm a wigwam!
    What do I do?" "Relax, you're too tents."

  22.  "Doctor, doctor! Birds keep building nests in my horses' manes!
    What should I do?"
    "Sprinkle yeast on them and call me in the morning."
    "But why?"
    "Yeast is yeast and nest is nest and never the mane shall tweet!"

  23.  Once upon a time, a tribe of cannibals caught a Saint sent to them as a missionary and ate him.
    He was very tender and tasty, yet they were all violently sick afterwards.
    It shows that you can't keep a good man down.

  24.  You can have too much of a good thing, but since most people think puns are not good things, they can't have too many of them!

  25.  An expert farmer is outstanding in his field.

  26.  An incompetent ship captain grounds the warship he walks on.

  27.  Did you hear about the optician? Two glasses and he made a spectacle of himself.

  28.  When the little boy was caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he said,
    "I needed help with my homework."
    The reason: "God helps those who help themselves."

  29.  A story about a pony on the pampas could be called "Little Horse on the Prairie".

  30.  How about the bear that was hit by an 18-wheeler and splattered all over the place?
    They said it was a grizzly accident.

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