If God were process oriented, the Book of Genesis would read something like this:
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void; and so God created a small community. God carefully balanced the community vis-a-vis race, sex, ethnic origins and economical status in order to interface pluralism with the holistic concept of self-determination according to adjudicatory guidelines. Even God was impressed, and so ended the first day.
And God said, "Let the committee draw up a mission statement." And behold, the committee decided to prioritize and strategize. And God called that process empowerment. And God thought it sounded good. And evening and morning were the second day.
And God said, "Let the committee determine goals and objectives, and engage in long range planning." Unfortunately, a debate as to the semantic difference between goals and objectives was pre-empted almost all the third day. Although, the question was never satisfactorily resolved, God thought the "process" was constructive. And evening and morning were the third day.
And God said, "Let there be a retreat in which the committee can envision functional organization, can be engaged in planning, and can be objective." The committee considered adjustments of priorities and consequential alternatives to program direction. And God saw that this was good. And God thought that it was even worth all the coffee and doughnuts He had to supply. And so ended the fourth day.
And God said, "Let the committee be implemented consistent with long-range planning and strategy. "The committee considered guidelines and linkages and structural sensitivities, and alternatives, and implementational models. And God saw that this was very democratic. And so would have ended the fifth day except for the unintentional renewal of the debate about the differences between goals and objectives.
On the sixth day, the committee agreed on criteria for adjudicatory assessment and evaluation. This wasn't the agenda God had planned. However, He wasn't able to attend the meeting, because He had to take the afternoon off to create day and night, and heaven and earth and seas and plants and trees and seasons and years and sun and moon and birds and fish and animals and human beings.
On the seventh day God rested, and the committee submitted its recommendations. It turns out that the recommend forms for things was nearly identical to the way God had already created; so the committee passed a resolution commending God for implementing according to guidelines. There was, however, some opinions expressed quietly that man should have been created in the committee's image.
And God caused a deep sleep to fall on the committee.
Click -- Finlay's Funnies -- to return to main index page.