(Two pirates talking. One has a wooden leg and an eye patch.)

How'd you get that wooden leg, mate?

Ay, it got bit off by a varment shark.

How'd you get that metal hook?

Lost er in a sword fight ... bastard cut off me bloody hand.

How'd you get that eye patch?

Well, I was up in the crows nest and I looked up to spy this seagull. The damn thing crapped in me eye!

Well, how'd THAT make you blind?

Arr, it was the first day I had my hook!