TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: TRAINING DEPARTMENT
It is now, and always has been, the policy of this company to assure its employees are well trained. Through our SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING programme (S.H.I.T. for short), we have given our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company in this area.
If any employee feels that he/she does not receive enough S.H.I.T. on the job or that he/she could advance to another position by taking more S.H.I.T., please let your supervisor know.
If you graduate to the top of your list by taking all the S.H.I.T., on the job that is given you, you can qualify for our supervisor programme, COMPLETE RESPONSIBILITY ACTION PROGRAMME (C.R.A.P. for short).
So to become a member of our management team, simply take all the S.H.I.T. you can and then with all the additional C.R.A.P. you receive, you will soon become one of the elite.
For a limited period only, the company is offering all employees the chance to try our latest scheme ADVANCED SUPERVISORY STAFF HELPING OUR LOCAL EMPLOYEES (A.S.S.H.O.L.E. for short)
So work hard, and you will find that the more S.H.I.T. you take, and the more C.R.A.P. you can handle, will qualify you as an A.S.S.H.O.L.E. for sure.
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