1. How do you catch a unique rabbit?
    You 'neek up on it. (Unique)

  2. How do you catch a tame rabbit?
    Tame way, you 'neek up on it.

  3. What do you call a cow with no legs?
    Ground beef.

  4. What do you get when you cross a cow and a dog?
    Hound beef.

  5. Why do cows wear bells?
    Because their horns don't work.

  6. How do you recognize a dogwood tree?
    By its bark.

  7. What goes up and never goes down?
    Your age.

  8. Hickory dickory dock
    Three mice ran up the clock
    The clock struck one
    And the other two escaped with minor injuries.

  9. What gets bigger the more you take from it?
    A hole.

  10. Why do firemen wear RED suspenders?
    To hold up their pants. Duh.

  11. Why did the chicken cross the playground?
    To get to the other slide.

  12. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    To prove to the armadillo that it could be done.

  13. What do you call a chicken that crosses the road twice without taking a bath?
    A dirty double crosser.

  14. Why did the chicken only cross the road halfway?
    It wanted to lay it on the line.

  15. Why did the fox cross the road?
    It was after that chicken!

  16. What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
    Kid's don't eat broccoli.

  17. Where does a Horse go when he gets sick?
    The "Horse-pital."

  18. What did the monkey say when he put his tail on the Railroad tracks?
    It won't be long now!

  19. What goes "ooo, oooo, oooo?"
    A cow with no lips.

  20. Why did the bicycle fall down?
    It was too tired. (two tired)

  21. What has four wheels and flies?
    A trash truck.

  22. First Person, running around frantically waving arms:
    "It's all around me, it's all around me!"
    Second Person watching First Person: "What's all around you?"
    First Person, calmly: "My belt, of course!"

  23. What's black and white and red all over?
    1. A zebra with a sunburn.
    2. A newspaper.
    3. An embarassed penguin.

  24. Where does an 800-pound gorilla sleep?
    Anywhere he wants.

  25. Where did the sheep go to get a hair cut?
    The baa-baa shop.

  26. What time is it when you have to go to the dentist?

  27. What does a 300 pound canary say?
    (Use a really deep voice and say), "Tweet!"

  28. What does a 500 pound canary say?
    (Use a really deep voice and say), "Here, Kitty Kitty!"

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