- A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens."
"How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath he replied.
" I think it's printed on the bottom."
- Another three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. I KNOW they're my feet."
- On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."
A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"
- A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.
"What are you doing?", his mother asked.
"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken the boy explained. I'm looking for the seal."
- "Can people predict the future with cards?"
"My mother can."
"Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home."
- A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt."
His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"
- A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She was reciting it all by herself without help from her mother.
She said, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail. AMEN."
- "Where's the English Channel?"
"I don't know, our television doesn't pick it up."
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