More and more candidates for the priesthood and the religious life are being asked to undergo psychological evaluation. Here's the probable result had St. Peter and the Apostles been sent for a psychological test.
Rabbi Jesus Christ
Several weeks ago you requested that we give our series of psychological test to the twelve men you were considering as possible associates in your work of ministry.
Although, we are still in the process of administering and compiling the results of the tests, we thought you would be anxious to receive the test results as soon as possible. hence, we are enclosing the test results for Mr. Simon Bar-Jonah. His profile sheet accompanies this letter.
As you can tells Mr. Bar-Jonah's personality is characterized by a dangerous rashness, overt pride and a lack of emotional stability that would no doubt be detrimental to you and your work. We feel also that his general physical appearance would create a bad image for your proposed organization.
Furthermore, during our research we discovered that Mr. Bar-Jonah is, to put it bluntly, a "bad" fisherman. We suspect that his lack of success in his current employment is the cause of his willingness to leave all and follow you.
Therefore, passed on our testing, we highly recommend that you do "not" consider Mr. Bar-Jonah as a possible associate. We will make further recommendations regarding the fitness of the other eleven men as soon as possible. but, in the meantime, we offer a few general observation.
Mr. Philip wanted to know why the questionnaire was only in Greek and not also in aramaic: "Wasn't Palestine a bilingual country?" Messrs. James and John Zebedee showed up for their appointment accompanied by their mother, a rather pushy person. To date, we have tested all except Mr. Thomas twin. He, we believe, seriously doubts the validity of the process itself, and anyway he failed to show up for his appointment.
Based on the evidence we have so far, we would recommend only Mr. Judas Iscariot who has a fine head for financial matters and would no doubt be a real asset to you and your organization.
Galilee Psychological Testing Service.
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