A lady goes to the pet shop and asks for an appropriate pet. "I wish to have a proper pet, and I have many conservative friends." "Well," said the proprietor," I have a parrot who speaks clearly and with a great deal of class."

She approached the bird and said, "Hello." The response: "Hello, Madam, a pleasant day, what?" "Can you say more?" The parrot proceed to converse about politics, current events, and social issues. Thrilled, the lady said, "I'll take the bird!"

When she took him home, she immediately invited her next-door neighbour to lunch. As soon as the woman came in the door, the parrot whistled a cat-call and let fly a string of obscenities. The owner was so shocked she grabbed the bird and stuck him in the refrigerator for one hour.

Upon returning to his perch, the bird slowly opened one eye at a time and gingerly grabbed his perch. "Whoa!" He thought. "I better be careful!"

Later, the owner invited her bridge club over for tea. And at the appearance of the first guest, the parrot again let fly a cat-call and numerous embarrassing obscenities. This time, the owner grabbed the bird and stuck him in the freezer!

After a half-hour, the bird was again placed on his perch, and slowly grabbing his perch with much pain, he opened one eye and saw the owner take a chicken from the freezer, turn the oven up to 400 degrees, and stick the chicken in.

"Holy cow," said the parrot. "I wonder what the hell he said!"

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