Everyone who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call mine "Sex".

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for "Sex". He said every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand. "Sex" keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me, too."

One day I entered "Sex" in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have "Sex" in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand", I said. I had hoped to have "Sex" on TV." He called me a show-off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had "Sex" before I was married." The judge said, "Me, too". Then I told him that after I was married, "Sex" left me. He said, "Me, too."

Last night "Sex" ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at four o'clock in the morning." I said, "I am looking for "Sex"."

"MY CASE COMES UP ON FRIDAY"