President Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. "Who goes there?" inquired St. Peter.
"It's me, Bill Clinton".
"What bad things did you do on earth?"
Clinton thought a bit and answered, "Well, I smoked marijuana but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale. I guess I had extra-marital sex -- but you couldn't hold that against me because I didn't really have 'sexual relations.' And I lied, but I didn't commit perjury."
After several moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, "OK, here's the deal. We'll send you some place where it is very hot, but we won't call it 'Hell.' You'll be there for an indefinite period of time, but we won't call it 'eternity.' And don't 'abandon all hope' upon entering, just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over."
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