BELIEVE IT OR NOT #19

  1. A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

  2. Those who are most moral are farthest from the problem.

  3. When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.

  4. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

  5. Everything takes longer than you think.

  6. In every organization, there is always one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.

  7. You can always find what you're not looking for.

  8. Nice people don't finish nice.

  9. Strive to look tremendously important.

  10. Falling in love is awfully simple. Falling out of love is simply awful.

  11. If you explain something so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.

  12. When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When leaving work early, you will meet your boss in the parking lot.

  13. After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

  14. The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.

  15. Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence.

  16. Never make a decision you can get someone else to make.

  17. Nothing is as temporary as that which is called permanent.

  18. Trust only those who stand to lose as much as you if things go wrong.

  19. People specialize in their area of greatest weakness.

  20. Cleanliness is next to impossible.

  21. The length of a progress report is inversely proportional to the amount of progress.

  22. You get the most of what you need the least.

  23. Any bureaucracy reorganized to enhance its efficiency is immediately indistinguishable from its predecessor.

  24. It's the dead wood that holds up the tree.

  25. You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.

  26. If the shoe fits, your lucky.

  27. All the good ones are taken.

  28. Virtue is its own punishment.

  29. Anytime things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.

  30. No matter how much you do, you never do enough from the boss's point of view. (Corollary: What you don't do is always more important than what you do do.)

  31. The farther away the future is, the better it looks.

  32. Whatever is in short supply will be in great demand.
    Corollaries:
    1. There is no demand once the new supply arrives.
    2. After selling the new supply at a loss, demand resumes.

  33. Only someone who understands something completely can explain it so that no one else can understand it.

  34. Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.

  35. The most heavily traveled streets spend the most time under construction.

  36. Every solution breeds new and bigger problems.

  37. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

  38. Nothing looks as good close-up as it does from far away.

  39. In any given set of circumstances, the correct course of action is dictated by subsequent events.

  40. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

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