1. Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are wiser than one.

  2. Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

  3. Never try to out-stubborn a cat.

  4. Polaroids: What polar bears get from sitting on icecaps.

  5. Religions revolve madly around sexual questions.

  6. Remember the turtle, he never makes any progress until he sticks his neck out.

  7. Semiconductor: One who directs 18 wheelers.

  8. Shin: Device for finding furniture in the dark.

  9. Speed Kills: Use Windows!

  10. The best way to succeed in politics is to find a crowd that's going somewhere and get in front of them.

  11. The first myth of management is that it exists.

  12. The mind is like a parachute, it works better when it's open.

  13. The most useful program will be continually improved until it is useless.

  14. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

  15. Unionism has carried the American ideal to its illogical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination
    on the grounds of race, creed and colour, but also on ability.

  16. Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

  17. Xerox never comes up with anything original.

  18. You are better off not knowing how sausages and laws are made.

  19. You can observe a lot just by watching.

  20. You learn something useless every day.

  21. Air conditioned environment. Do not open Windows.

  22. All general statements are false.

  23. All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time.

  24. All in all, you're just another brick in the wall....

  25. All's fair in Love and War (Is there a difference?)

  26. Always draw your curves, then plot the data.

  27. Always remember that strength is obtained by meeting resistance.

  28. Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.

  29. Always smile. It makes people wonder what you're up too.

  30. Ambition a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

  31. An easily understood workable falsehood is more useful than a complex incomprehensible truth.

  32. An experiment may be considered successful if no more than half the data must be discarded to agree with the theory.

  33. An optimist believes that we live in the best of all possible worlds, the pessimist FEARS it's true.

  34. An optimist is one who makes the best of it, when he gets the worst of it.

  35. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

  36. Anarchy is better than no government at all.

  37. Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months, might as well have been written by someone else.

  38. Any idiot can use a computer, and many do!

  39. What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
    BIG holes all over Australia....

  40. Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

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