1. Repetition is always better the second time.

  2. Don't worry about life; you're not going to survive it, anyway.

  3. People who think they know what they're doing are especially annoying to those of us who do.

  4. Have a nice day....somewhere else.

  5. Life without bears would be unbearable.

  6. I've no time to prepare a profound message.

  7. Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven't sent one out.

  8. It's been Monday all week.

  9. When all else fails, lower your standards.

  10. Do unto others before they do unto you.

  11. I'm only a hypochondriac when I'm feeling sick.

  12. A kibble is one thousand nibbles.

  13. Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

  14. Wouldn't it be nice if there was an Escape key for all of our problems?

  15. Life isn't weird; it's the people in it.

  16. Gravity always gets me down.

  17. If I can't fix it, it ain't broken.

  18. Being good at being stupid doesn't count.

  19. You can't be late until you show up.

  20. It doesn't matter what temperature a room is; it's always at room temperature.

  21. Of course there is no reason for it, it's just company policy.

  22. Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.

  23. All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

  24. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

  25. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they aren't after you.

  26. They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

  27. When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

  28. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

  29. Your lucky number has been disconnected.

  30. Today is the first day of the rest of the mess.

  31. You always find something in the last place you look.

  32. A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

  33. It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.

  34. You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

  35. Laugh at your problems, everyone else does.

  36. The former ruler of Russia and his wife were called Tsar and Tsarina, so clearly their children were called Tsardines.

  37. It's bad luck to be superstitious.

  38. Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

  39. Support bacteria, it's the only culture some people have.

  40. Schizophrenia beats being alone.

Click -- BACK -- in your Browser to return to alphabet letter.

Click -- Finlay's Funnies -- to return to main index page.