1. A new car isn't a barometer of how much money a person has, but it's a pretty good indication of how much they owe.

  2. Don't pray for rain if you're going to complain about the mud.

  3. Sometimes it's difficult to tell who's knocking -- opportunity or temptation.

  4. Much trouble is caused by our yearnings getting ahead of our earnings.

  5. If it weren't for keeping a budget, a lot of people wouldn't know how much they're in debt.

  6. Modern man has the genius to make it rain, but often lacks enough common sense to come in out of it.

  7. It's not that you can resist temptation any easier in a small town, you just can't find it.

  8. Trouble is like muddy water; be patient, don't stir it, and it will soon clear up.

  9. The whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call of duty.

  10. The trouble with public debt is that private individuals have to pay it.

  11. Nothing makes it easier to resist temptation that a proper upbringing, a sound set of values, and witnesses.

  12. When tempted to say an unkind word, rehearse it first -- to see how see how you'd like it.

  13. Things are pretty well evened up in this world. Other people's troubles are not as bad as ours, but their children are a lot worse.

  14. What you don't owe won't hurt you.

  15. Rain is what makes flowers grow and taxis disappear.

  16. When you're up to your ears in trouble, try using the part that isn't submerged.

  17. If you're not in style, the chances are you're out of debt.

  18. Rain is something that, when you carry an umbrella, doesn't.

  19. One trouble with trouble is that it usually starts out as fun.

  20. Worry is interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

  21. Q: What did the 300lb canary say as he walked down a dark alley at night?
    A: Here kitty, kitty, kitty...

  22. The number of feet in a yard is directly proportional to the success of the barbecue.

  23. One Bananosecond is the amount of time between slipping on the peel and landing on the pavement.

  24. The amount of weight an evangelist carries with the almighty is measured in Billigrahams.

  25. The rate at which a disease spreads through a corn field -- the speed of Blight.

  26. Leisure is a beautiful garment, but it will not do for constant wear.

  27. Plan ahead -- It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.

  28. I wish they'd invent a washing machine that turns out an even number of socks.

  29. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

  30. Why is abbreviation such a long word?

  31. For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.

  32. I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

  33. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

  34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

  35. There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.

  36. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

  37. A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

  38. I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

  39. A folk singer is a person who gets rich singing about how wonderful it is to be poor.

  40. The only place where ends meet not is on a football field.

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