1. There's no experiment that is ever a complete failure. It can always be used as a very bad example.

  2. Live so your friends can defend you but never have to.

  3. Most families use credit cards for everything. The only one who still pays in cash is the tooth fairy.

  4. The advantage of studying history is that it keeps you from feeling too important.

  5. The easiest way to find a use for something is to throw it out.

  6. Flattery is now called "artificial sweetener".

  7. This year about the only thing not enriched, fortified, or reinforced is money.

  8. Fishing is the art of doing almost nothing.

  9. Politeness is like an air cushion. There may be nothing in it but it eases the jolt.

  10. Money isn't everything, according to those who have it.

  11. He who makes the same mistake over and over again learns to do at least one thing well.

  12. If water pollution gets any worse, walking on it will be a cinch.

  13. A good friend is like a tube of tooth-paste -- comes through in a tight squeeze.

  14. To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you're overdoing it.

  15. To err is human. To really foul things up requires a computer!

  16. Anybody can win-unless there happens to be a second entry.

  17. Some people are as non-political as a pair of socks: neither right nor left.

  18. Secret: something either not worth keeping or to good to keep.

  19. Even it the good five-cent cigar of another time makes a comeback, the problem is to find a place to smoke it.

  20. A TV special is one that comes on instead of the one you stayed home to see.

  21. Criticism is one thing most of us think is more blessed to give than to receive.

  22. Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.

  23. Children keep a family together, especially when one can't get a babysitter.

  24. Being poor has one distinct advantage. It doesn't take much to improve your situation.

  25. I'm a mental tourist. My mind wanders.

  26. The kindergarten teacher has a problem: either she lost a child or one snowsuit came to school empty.

  27. Many a live wire would be dead without connections.

  28. Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has courage to lose sight of the shore.

  29. A pessimist is an optimist on the way home from the track.

  30. The honeymoon's over when you're no longer drinking to one another, but because of.

  31. You can tell you're getting old when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.

  32. A man seldom knows what he can do until he tries to undo what he did.

  33. Did you hear about the workaholic who was charged with resisting a rest?

  34. This year about the only thing not enriched, fortified, or reinforced is money.

  35. Remember when a thirst for the classics meant you craved great literature and not a soft drink?

  36. The knowledge that a secret exists is half the secret.

  37. You know you've reached middle age when your weight lifting consists solely of standing up.

  38. Manners are loud noises you don't make when you're eating soup.

  39. We have a really small apartment. When the kitchen isn't being used, it folds right into the wall.

  40. Plan ahead -- it wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.

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