A little old lady walked into the head branch of the Chase Manhattan Bank holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young man at the window that she wished to take the $3 million she had in the bag and open an account with the bank. She said that first, though, she wished to meet the president of Chase Manhattan Bank due to the large amount of money involved. The teller seemed to think that this was a reasonable request, and after opening the paper bag and seeing bundles of $1000 bills which amounted to about $3 million, telephoned the banks president's secretary to obtain an appointment for the lady.
The lady was escorted upstairs and ushered into the president's office. Introductions were made and she stated that she liked to get to know the people she did business with on a more personal level. The bank president then asked her how she came into such a large sum of money.
"Was it an inheritance?" he asked.
"No," she replied. He was quiet for a minute, trying to think where this little old lady could possibly have come into $3 million.
"I bet," she said.
"You bet?" repeated the bank president, "as in horses?"
"No," she replied, "I bet on people."
Seeing his confusion, she explained that she just bet different things with people. All of a sudden she said, "I'll bet you $35,000 that by tomorrow morning your testicles will be square." The bank president figured that she must be off her rocker and decided to take her up on her bet. He didn't see how he could lose. For the rest of the day the bank president was very careful. He decided to stay home that evening and take no chances -- there was $35,000 at stake.
When he got up in the morning and took his shower, he checked to make sure that everything was OK. There was no difference, he looked the same as he always had. He went to work and waited for the little old lady to come in at 10:00, humming as he went. He knew that this would be a good day -- how often do you get handed $35,000 for doing nothing? At 10:00 sharp, the little old lady was shown into his office. With her was a younger man. When he inquired as to the man's purpose for being there, she informed him that he was her lawyer and that she always took him along whenever there was this much money involved.
"Well," she asked, "What about our bet?"
"I don't know how to tell you this," he replied, "But I'm the same as I've always been, only $35,000 richer!"
The lady seemed to accept this, but requested that she be able to see for herself. The bank president thought that this was reasonable and dropped his trousers. She instructed him to bend over then she grabbed hold of him. Sure enough, everything was fine. The bank president then looked up and saw her lawyer standing across the room banging his head against the wall.
"What's wrong with him?", he inquired.
"Oh him?", she replied. "I bet him $100,000 that by 10:00 this morning I'd have the President of the Chase Manhattan bank by the balls."
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