1. you wake up face down in a ditch.

  2. you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.

  3. you call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.

  4. you see a "60 Minutes news team"; waiting in your outer office.

  5. your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

  6. you want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party, and there aren't any.

  7. you turn on the TV news and they're displaying emergency routes out of the city.

  8. you wake up to discover that your water bed broke and then you realize that you don't have a water bed.

  9. your horn goes off accidently and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels down the freeway.

  10. your doctor tells you, "Well, I have bad news and good news...";

  11. you open the paper and find your picture under a caption that reads: "WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE!"

  12. your ex-lover calls and tells you she's got six days to live, and suggests you better get the Test.

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