Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies when abroad.
Canadians: Are indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.
Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe you should look out for those who belong to your club.
Americans: Believe people should look out for themselves.
Canadians: Believe that's the government's job.
Americans: Flag-waving, anthem-singing and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to the anthem, when they can be bothered to sing it.
Aussies: Extremely patriotic to their beer, would sing the anthem if they knew the words.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a brass band to perform the anthem.
Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because the government won't let them have more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax to watch four lousy channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.
Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice in baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in.
Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it English.
Brits: Pronounce words differently, but still call it English.
Canadians: Spell like Brits, pronounce like Americans.
Aussies: Add "G'Day", "mate", and a heavy accent to everything they say.
Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country.
Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country.
Americans: Believe that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things.
Aussies: Believe that none of this matters after several beers.
Click -- Finlay's Funnies -- to return to main index page.